Dumbledore is a Father
by WalkingFingers
Summary: There is a new couple at Hogwarts. If you are a Draco fan don't read! THis is just anther silly story that mocks different movies& books. soo if you like you story with alot of point, don't read!ruu: This summary sucks!
1. Chapter 1

Ruu: HI! this the first story of well ever.

Asby: HI YALL!

ruu: I write the things asby has no shougick for and she speaks ruuinese!

Asby: stomach

ruu: sigh i no good at spelling! and her computer hates me!

Asby:but we all love you anyway

ruu: YAY! huges asby but you know that it hates you to rite?

Asby: this is our first story we have ever written together, so plzz show some grace, and dont 4get 2 **_R&R! _**This story is Zebralicious!

Ruu: pouting shes ignoring me again.

Asby: no, i m not, i was just telling them about our sick and twisted story

ruu: SAT thats a test. (sick and twisted)

Ruu: if you are a Draco fan you meit not want to read this story.

Asby: might

ruu: thaxs

Disclamer: We no own so you no sue.

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I had to see him, I had to tell him. He wasn't at lunch this afternoon, so I decided to go look for him at our meeting place. On my way there my thoughts ran wild, and strayed to my darker memories of the day.

FLASHBACK

**_I had just taken the test...it turned out positive. I, Hermione, prefect, Head Girl, model straight A student; am pregnant with a professors's child._**

END FLASHBACK

There he was, standing in the entrance hall talking to Snape. I wonder if he's cheating on me with Snape? It wouldn't really surprise me. Wow, all of a sudden I have a horrible craving for unicorn roasted in butter beer, hmmm, I think I should talk to him."Dumbledore, there you are! You look so hot in that cape; like 007...in a cape." "Granger, what are you babbling about now?" said Snape. "Prof Dumbledore is need in the hospital wing."said a super stressed Hermione. 'Gosh, I didn't mean that as a question' thought hermione. "Was that a question, Miss Granger?" Snape spat. "No?" Snape looked like he was going to question me further but Dumbledore stopped him. "Severus, leave her alone." commanded Dumbledore. "Lead the way, Miss Granger." he sais kindly. They started down the hall way. When she all of a sudden had the urge to kiss him senseless. The urge grew as they walked down the hallway. She could not stand it any more! They walked a little more down the hall. They were really close his office. She turn sharply on her heel and grabbed him. She started to go backwards into a class room. He shut the door with his foot. He then pressed her on the door. The feeling was so wrong but it felt GREAT! He started to nibble on her bottom lip as if asking for entrance. They then started a heavy make out session! (Asby: ewwww ruu: ahahahahah) "Dumbledore" she moaned, "I have to tell you something." she said disappointingly. He sigh and moved off her as she panted. "What?" he asked. Dumbledore sighed as he started to nip and kiss her neck. "Dumbledore we need to talk." Hermione stated sternly as if she were talking to a child. He pouted as a child that had just been deprived from his favorite toy. Just then the bell for afternoon classes rung. And Dumbledore; back on form again stated quaintly "Ok, I suppose you may meet me in my office, before dinner and you may dine with me, if you wish." "Ok, Prof."said a flushed Hermione, "If you say so. I'll see you then, shall I wear something see though?"ask Hermione " why yes, you may you sexy thing you." he said. He winked at her.

Hermione rushed off for class, before she was late. On the way to class she ran into Draco Malfoy. "Hey Hermione!" said Draco. Rumor had it that Draco actually had a crush on her this year. "OUT OF MY WAY FERRET!"Hermione yelled at Draco. "Wow, she's really hot when she's mad!" Draco said like an obsessed little boy. "OOOOK,"said Hermione. "I SAID MOVE YOUR FERRET ASS!"she yelled. ( ruu:ass. asby: butt. ruu:ass. asby:butt.) She ran and ran and finely reached class. It turns out she was late! 'I wish I could I cures Snape!. 'OH look it Harry and Ron!' thought Hermione. Harry and Ron started backing away from her. She look at them and then realized that she had said her thoughts out loud! 'Oh how embarrassing!' she thought. Hermione blushed. She walked to them. "Hermione where were you?" whispers Harry. "Yea, mate, we don't see you at breakfast?" question a worried Ron. "HERMIONE! HI! Why did you tell me to move my ferret ass?" Draco fearfully asked. Hermione quickly turned away from Draco because Snape was now looking at her in a questioningly manner. "I don't remember saying any of that."said a very anxious Hermione. "YES YOU DID, REMEMBER?"Draco shouted across the dungeons above the chatter of all the other students. "Would you like to sharer with the class? Or would you like to see me after class?" said a tick-off Snape. "No thank you Prof Snape.

We where just talking about the homework that we know that you will be handing out." she said quckly. "No we won't! Liar Liar! we where talking..." he said before Harry covered his mouth. "Hmm, Very well. Now were was I? O yes. Blah Blah Blah Blah"went on Snape. That was all that Hermione heard for that class.

Finally, class was over. And in the crowd of students leaving the dungeons Draco quickly slipped over to her and whispered in her ear.. "I know your secret... You have been going out with my father, haven't you?" he demanded. Hermione backed away from Draco as quickly as humanly possible. Just then her survival instincts kicked into overdrive, and she said in her strangest voice:"Yeah Draco, that's it." Draco explained. "I knew it! My hair can always tell when someone is hiding something...or if someone is just hiding, or if someone is playing jump rope...or it can tell when its raining."he said in one breath."That's why my hair is soooo big, its full of secrets!" Or he was just babbling on about nothing important, But that is up to you. Moving on. "Did it hurt?" Hermione asked sweetly. "Did what hurt? What are you talking about?" Draco demanded. "When your mom dropped you on your head! Of course!"she asked again. "Yeah actually it did-WAIT A MINUTE! My mom never dropped me on my head! ( Asby: in public anyway.)" yelled Draco. "O kay, Im gonna run away now! BYE!"she said before she ran as fast as she could, and as she ran the ONLY thought going through Draco's mind was; 'Wow, she should be on the tract team!'

The next thing Dumbledore knew Hermione was all over him like a monkey on a cupcake! Dumbledore was taking Hermione to Hogsmede that day. He was waited for her in the entrance hall. Then he saw her walking towards him eating a cupcake. ( Asby: for all of you readers out there who don't understand this don't worry your not alone, and for those of you who do understand this; you ARE alone. ruu: HEY DRACO ITS RAINNING! hard! Draco: I soooo know that, my hair always knows!)

"Hermione remind me again why I have to take you to Hogsmede."Dumbledore said. "And why you can't go with the rest of the class."As they walked there. "I told you Dumbledore. We have to go to the meeting." Hermione stated. "Hermione do we have to? And why do you keep calling me Dumbledore. When I have told you numerous times to call me Albus!" wined "Albus". "I dont know, I'm just used to calling you Dumbledore, GET OVER IT! And yes, Albus we do, it is important!" "Fine."he sulked as they continued to walk along their way. When they finnally got there, everyone had already arrived and was waited for them to arrive. "Hello Prof!"said everyone's favorite air-head,(Draco Malfoy) holding the hand of his lover. Hermione went talk to Pansy who was also holding the hand of her lover;"Mad-Eye" Moody. They started to gossip immediately when they were in hands reach of each other. The meeting was actually a support group for student/teacher relationships. The members included:"Mad-Eye" Moody and his lover Pansy Parkinson, Prof. McGonnagal and Ron Wesley, Prof. Snape and Harry Potter, Dumbledore and Hermione, of course! And last but not least Hagrid and his soul-mate, everyone's favorite air-head Draco Malfoy! "Did you heard that we are getting a new one member!" she squealed excitedly. "Do you know something about it?" asked Pansy. They where tuned out by the group as they waited for the leader of there organization. Voldemort & Ginny then walked into the house. Everyone drow their wands and pointed them at Voldemort. "STOP!" screamed a scared Ginny. She ran in front of him in order to save his life. "What the hell is going on here?" yelled Ron. "Well.. They new members." nervily stated Fudge, the leader, as everyone slowly lowered their wands. "Ginny what the hell are you doing we thought Voldemort had killed you!" said a emotional Ron. "Shh, baby" cooed Minerva (ruu: Prof McGonnagal. Asby: ewwww) to Ron. He soon calmed down. "Well, now that we have met our new members lets continue with this meeting. Now then does anyone have new news?" Fudge asked. He stud in the middied of the room and waited for new news. Hermione started to get nerves. Should she tell everyone at the time about the new one? Yes, After everybody else's news. "Anyway, we are now going into the new year. We have to be as non-suspicious as possible." said Albus as he pasted the room. Snape then took the floor. "We are almost home free. After this year we all can be married. The Minority can't do anything then." said Snape. 'Now or never' she thought. She then stand-up and said for the hole group to hear. "I'm pregnant."Hermione said boldly. She sat down and calmly breathe in&out. Everyone sat there in shock.

"I think we should all go home and think about this." Fudge suggested. They all filed out of the house all still in shock. Albus sat beside her in shock. "Hermione?" asked Dumbledore. "Yes, its true. I didn't want to tell you until the meeting because I thought that I would have more support here and courage to tell you. I hope your not mad." Hermione said nervously. "I'll go and let you think awhile." she said. Hermione ran out of the house and to Three Broomsticks. 'Well, no turning back now.' thought Hermione as she entered the Three Broomsticks.

Almost immediately Madame Rosemerta was asking her what she wanted."What can I get for you, Hermione? Where's Harry and Ron today?"

"Huh..what? Oh, I guess just one butter beer please."said Hermione distractedly. "What's wrong, dear?"asked a very worried Madame Rosemerta. "Nothing, Im fine." said lied Hermione. "Oh, by the way!"said Madame Rosemerta."So sorry we ( Madame Rosemerta & Neville Longbottom, Asby: hehehehe!) weren't able to make the meeting this after noon we got um... tied up."Madame Rosemerta grinned, and then in an undertone she added; "How did it go?" "Not so good."Hermione said. "I recently found out that I am pregnant and I told everyone at the meeting...they all scattered like I was just about to assign them some really difficult homework or something."Madame Rosemerta gasped and looked shocked.

"Dumbledore?"she asked. "Who else?"answered Hermione. Madame Rosemerta looked somewhat taken aback, then she broke the silence that had fallen between them by saying: "Well, I suppose I should go make your drink dear." Hermione looked up startled by the voice she knew had been there all along."Oh, right. Be back in a jiffy." After she left Hermione went back to getting lost in her own thoughts until someone who looked like a seventh year walked up to her. She was so distracted that she didn't notice him until he coughed to get her attention. "Ahem?"he said. "Huh? what?" Hermione babbled. "Hi, I don't think you know me but I'm in a couple of your classes, and as you know I need to do a survey for school. Would you mind participating?"he asked.

Hermione hadn't remembered any survey being assigned but then she reasoned with herself that she had been so out of it the past couple of days that she could have easily missed it. "Ok, sure." she said. She thought she saw a couple of guys at a table close to hers snicker. "Is your muffin buttered?" he asked. "My what?"asked Hermione. "Would you like me to assign someone to butter your muffin?" "Huh?" Hermione asked. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. The nerve! "I beg your pardon! But I already have a boyfriend, his name is Du-"Wait! She caught herself before she had totally ruined her life and Dumbledore's as well as revealing the club. "None of your business!" She said madly "Whatever."the boy mumbled dejectedly as he stalked off. 'Wow, that was close.'

Asby: my eyes they burn

Ruu: mahahahaha my job here is done!

Asby: hasta la byebye!

Ruu: REVIEW! thaxs!

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R&R


	2. Story is on hold SORRY!

hey... I AM SOOO SORRY!  
Ashley is going to kill me but i lost the next part of the story! This is soo bad. I was going to type the next part. I was in a tapey mode. Then I go looking for it 'cause we had to write it down off her laptop. IT WAS NO WHERE TO BE SEEN! 

I am sooo dead! Anyway if you never hear from me again you know what happen. Ok... she wont kill me. Ash has put up with me for six years. She would not kill me. It would be a waste of a good six years, right?

I think she will be pissed.

Have I said that I am sooooo sorry? For real! After i stop saying that to you. I am going to say that to Ash as my new moto. sigh The good news is she has the story on her laptop. Yes the one that hates me. Plus the screen is broken so i really don't know how that is going to work out.

I am really Sorry but untill i found them you can try and guess what movies Ash and me are mocking!! Just review them. O and vote for the baby. Girl? Boy? Twins?

SORRY!  
PLEASE FORGIVE!!!!


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